Well-Being for Children

Welcome to our guest posts from BetterHelp on Well-Being for Children.

5 Ways to Build Up Your Childs Resilience

When you wish to raise a child with resilience, there are several approaches to take, which may be able to lend a hand. When a child is resilient, this means they may have the ability to adapt to different situations and overcome any child stress issues. Here’s a look at a few ways you can potentially help your child become more resilient.

If you want to learn more about resilience, you can read BetterHelp for articles and information.

Keep a Schedule

It is a good idea to keep to a schedule, even on the weekends. This will allow your whole family to know what events are taking place at specific times, and there can be a fair amount of routine. For instance, you may set specific mealtimes and bedtimes, and even set aside times where your kids are able to do the things that they want to do.

Have Clear Rules and Boundaries (Including Consequences)

Another way to add structure to your household is to set forth clear rules and boundaries. In other words, let your little ones know what is expected of them. If they are supposed to keep their rooms clean or do their homework by a certain time, let them know this. You should also make sure they know what happens if they don’t follow these rules.

Talk to Your Kids

Even though you have a busy life, you need to talk to your kids every day. If they come to you with issues or need help with their homework, you should make time to lend a hand as well. If you are unable to talk to your kids when they need something from you, they may stop asking you for help. Moreover, you can speak with your kids when things come up that will affect their lives. Perhaps you have a new job with different work hours, or you are having another baby. It is important to include your children in conversations about these things. You should also take steps to let your kids know that they are loved each day. This can be a crucial part of the process.

Be Honest With Them About Everything

You don’t have to stretch the truth whenever you are talking to your children. Of course, there will likely be topics that you don’t want to share with them, but it is better to tell them the truth about everything you can, so they will have a clear picture of what is going on. If a family member is sick and may not make it, you may need to tell your child about the circumstances. This can give them time to cope with the situation and will also be a teachable moment.

Change Approaches When Necessary

You may need to keep changing up the rules and the way you parent as your children grow up. Keep in mind that you don’t have to be perfect at this. Anyone can make a mistake, but it is necessary to learn from these mistakes. There will likely be a lot of trial and error as a parent when it comes to aspects that work well for your family. This is probably the best approach. Refrain from comparing yourself to other families as well, since each one is different. You don’t have to raise your kids the same way someone else does. Cut yourself some slack.

Well-Being for Children conclusion

There are many things you can do to help your child become more resilient. You can set a routine that works for your whole family, talk to them daily, and be honest with them about events that are going on. When you do these things, you will be able to see what works and what doesn’t. Always be ready to change it up when you need to. Besides that, take it one day at a time, since parenting can be a learning process each day.

Other Well-Being posts

Author:

Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-
related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health
resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with
mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.

Child Well-Being

Is my child spending too long playing video games?

These apps are designed to be addictive, that is the motivation of a lot of designers. Not all games are designed this way but a lot of them are.  So what do we do as loving parents to support our children and more importantly to support ourselves to deal with this challenge?

Social dilemma with all on devices children in a rowWell primarily we have to resource ourselves fully to be the best parents we can be. This is easy to say of course but more tricky in practice.  It is one thing to intend to look after ourselves but when we actually want to instil well being practises into our moment to moment existence this is another thing and a life long journey.  Being a role model for our children is the best way to go, showing them how to look after themselves.

Here are some of Jennifer Pidgeon from Let’s Connect and Feel Better’s tips for parents when dealing with screen-addicted children:

These 4 tools are for the “point of taking them off” their device:

1. Have a fun distraction ready

It may sound mad but I always have a treat or a good film ready for my daughter and I to share when she comes off her Ipad.  These are two ways my daughter and I connect currently although I would prefer them to be going for a walk or doing yoga together (she is a preteen).  In the past, we would bake a cake or we would play with playdough.  Depending on where you are with your child offer this connection to them when they come off their device.

2. Give your child pre-warning to transition, make eye contact with them (5 minutes left)

Dis-connecting from the intense energy of their device is a big shift for their nervous system so letting them know beforehand will help prevent potent arguments.  There are times when my daughter is more willing to come off her Ipad and times when she is charged for an argument.  Arguments and disagreement are not something new between parents and children.  Our children are making massive connections through their device, through gaming, social media and YoutTube for example so this is very powerful.  So they are open to the whole of the internet potentially, the good, the bad and the ugly.  This is a lot for parents to contend with especially as we did not grow up with the Internet so it’s relatively new for us.

3. Remain calm and prepare yourself to connect with your child

If you have had a challenging day at work, or a thumping headache all day then you are not going to be in the best place to connect fully with your child.  Give yourself forgiveness and compassion, you are trying your best.  When we do not have the capacity to deal with the transition our children go through then this can be a testing time for your parenting.  As I said previously this journey to maintaining consistent well-being for ourselves can sometimes take some conscious effort for us.  Taking up regular exercise, eating well, surrounding ourselves with loving friends and family and getting regular breaks is so important for our parenting.

Child well-being

4. Phone a friend  to listen to you beforehand or during this transition

I use this tool every night usually around the time where I ask my daughter to come off her IPad or just beforehand.  I will phone a friend or loved one to fill myself up with support and connection before then facing the task of taking my daughter off her IPad.  Within most of the parenting methodologies I have used, there is always a big focus on creating a support network around yourself.  Sometimes the time of transition has become so challenging that I have phoned my mum or friend crying about feeling so fed up of this struggle every day.  For me, this was an extremely effective tool to loosen up tension in the home.

Is my child spending too long online?These 5 tools are for the “long-term preparation” on how to manage Screen Addiction generally:

1. Build a connection

This is a big one clearly and covers a lot.  So what is it to build connection?  Connection starts with us, it starts with how we feel in ourselves as a human being.  It is only once we are fully resourced that we can then help another especially our child.  Assuming we are full up in our own well being – how do we then build a connection with our children?  We play with them, we join them in their fun activities and we allow them to be who they are.  Sometimes when we become parents we have to remember how to play and this is difficult when we are also looking after everything too.  Personally, I exercise every day, sometimes it’s a walk in the park and sometimes it’s a hardcore work out session depending on how I’m feeling.  I also attempt to eat highly nutritious foods and keep the junk food on the low side. I make an effort to connect with loved ones daily and to take time out to meditate and do hobbies I love, I get out in Nature a lot too.

2. Prepare friends who you can phone.

This is about building on your existing strong relationships and if you feel you do not have strong relationships then this may require more inner work for you.  When we can open up to others about our struggles it then allows a deeper connection within the relationship.  Tell people what is going on at home with your addictions and speaking up helps to open up a world of healing for you.  Sometimes I find just asking for help is all that is needed and then what you need appears.

 

Child well-being

3. Have a fun distraction prepared

This tool is for when you have the capacity, you can prepare something fun to do with your children for when they come off their screens.  Such as some drawing pencils and nice paper ready to draw or have a pack of cards ready to play a snap.  Yes, of course, your child may throw the cards everywhere or walk off in a huff but the intention is there which is important.  We need to remember how addictive these games and platforms are and how much our children have to deal with on their devices sometimes.  So when they come off the device they may be holding a lot of built-up stress in their bodies or upset from last week!  My daughter and I will sometimes bake a cake or she will read a book on her own, sometimes we watch a nice film together with tea and biscuits.

4. Make sure you’ve had a fulfilled day

Getting our child off the screen can just feel like another job to do just like hanging up the washing or cleaning the toilet.  So try to make sure you’ve had a fulfilled day and if you haven’t then why haven’t you?  And is there something you can do to change that?  And if there is not is there something within you that can be calmed and soothed?  If you are stressed out on a regular basis then this can seep into our home lives and affect our children and so on.

5. Set limit beforehand and reach out

In regards to where and when your child has their device, I find just setting a simple time limit very helpful.  This will be different for every family to fit with how everyone moves throughout their day.

For example, I aim to get my daughter off her IPad by 8 pm on weekdays and by 9 pm on weekends, this is different when she is at her grandparents for example or with her friends.  Through lockdown, these limits went out the window completely for obvious reasons which meant chaos for both of us.

Generally now by eight, I am trying to lure her off her IPad.  At 8 pm I begin to connect more with my daughter.  I offer her a snack or dinner if we haven’t had it yet.  Tell her about what I’m doing and I also remind her that it’s time to come off her IPad.  I try not to be physical because this has not worked out well in the past.  Sometimes when she is very fixated I will go for a mini walk to calm me down more before setting the limit, for those with little ones this may not be feasible.

Jen is a parenting expert, healer and entrepreneur.  She started Let’s Connect and Feel Better with the intention to empower all to connect on a deeper more profound level. With their children, family and ultimately themselves.

Make sure to read more about this very relevant subject:

Tech-savvy Parenting in a Technology-Driven World

 

Child well-being